How Kindness Helps You Experience Greater Ease in Your Self Healing Journey
When you just aren’t seeing the healing progress that you would like to, you can become quite discouraged. That discouragement can lead to you being really hard on you, your doctor, your healer, your family or the Divine.
It becomes far too easy to blame and difficult to be kind. In fact, we sometimes use the fact that we are not feeling well to be tough on someone else—to be rude or cranky. Somehow we think because we are feeling bad, it gives us the right to take it out on the people around us. I share this from first-hand experience. I’ve been rude to a loved one many times when I wasn’t feeling well.
I wish that I had understood then that my lack of kindness was feeding my illness.Bad feelings make us feel worse and everyone around us as well.
It is almost impossible to heal in the midst of frustration and anger. Healing and bad feelings are not compatible, unless you are using the feelings as doorways to inner resolution.
Many illnesses are born from negative emotions, so perpetuating them won’t help us find any relief or comfort, and may very well drive away the very people that are there to help us.
What I Learned Through My Mother About Illness, Self Healing and Emotions
I remember when my mother was dying. Bless her heart, she was tough on her kids. But when my aunts came over to help or the caretaker from hospice, she was as sweet as she could be, even in the midst of the worst pain.
After a couple of days, I decided not to tend to her because my presence only stimulated her frustration. I left her in the care of my aunts for my sake—so that I wouldn’t have to face her growing anger.
Given the same scenario today, I would choose to talk with her about my desire to leave and why I would prefer to stay, experiencing our last days together with as much pleasantness as possible.
I also understand that during the time my mother was able to be kind toward my aunts, she might have been experiencing a little more kindness for herself, and kindness makes any healing experience a little easier.
In my first career as a Special Education teacher, I spent a year teaching children that were terminally ill. They showed me that a person can be quite ill and yet be quite kind. They were amazingly gentle with others and grateful even as their bodies gave way to their illnesses. Their little souls showed me the power of kindness amidst adversity.
It’s something you might consider. Are you being particularly or unnecessarily hard on yourself? Are you angry with yourself? How might you be projecting that on to the people you love or out into the world?
What About the Anger? How Can You Use it to Facilitate Your Self Healing?
Anger and frustration with your illness, or others, is certainly an expression of your frustration with your circumstances, but if you allow yourself to linger in it, or feed it, the anger keeps you away from what you most need to know or do to heal.
If anger and frustration is coming up, then these emotions need your attention immediately, because anger is telling you something within your perceptions or behaviors needs to change. Anger can well up from a present situation, but most often your anger is being triggered from something the past or the fear of a future you can’t fully control.
You might be triggered by an event from your childhood you do or do not remember. Or you might be being triggered by a past-life event or a perception passed on to you through your family. You might be triggered by feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness regarding your ability to fulfill your soul’s contract. This anger is telling you healing is needed right now! It is almost never actually about another person.
In a similar situation to the kind that triggers your anger, another person might respond in compassion or neutrality. You are reacting in anger for a reason, so the sooner you release any need to blame or focus on another person and focus on yourself, the sooner you heal and you are no longer triggered.
Anger can present as rage, guilt, shame, inadequacy, unworthiness, regret or resentment—all emotions that are frequently found at the root of chronic illnesses. I know it’s uncomfortable, and I know most of us want to avoid it, but do yourself a favor and gather up your courage. Address the anger, and the emotion(s) behind the anger immediately, so that your body can return to a state of kindness and rest, where it can heal!
How to Be With Your Anger
You might find that you need to move physically in order to release some of the pent up energy behind anger. A brisk walk, a run, a walk up and down a set of stairs, or going for a swim can make a difference. Exercise or dance if you can’t get outside. If you can’t get up and move about, visualize or inwardly feel yourself moving about. Your body will interpret your visualization as actual movement.
Or give voice to the rage, without words, as though you are the sound of a volcano erupting. Using sound to help safely express and transform difficult emotions is taught in my Sound Healing for Wellness audio course, Session 6, in case you already have the program.
Don’t project the rage toward you or anyone else. There is no need to throw that energy toward anyone. It is an emotion that deserves to be honored. Giving physical attention to the anger as a legitimate emotion is enough to help it diffuse enough to work with the deeper emotions beneath the anger.
Notice I am not suggesting you get in a car or on your motorcycle. Yes, it is movement, but you are commanding a heavy object that can do as much harm to you or another if in your anger you loose control.
If possible, get out in nature, because the negative ions found in nature help calm the beast inside. You can learn more about the benefits of negative ions in healing, and illnesses caused by lack of exposure to nature in my book, The Root of All Healing.
After moving, some people like to take a shower to physically and energetically rinse off any remaining charge. Now you are ready to meditate or use some form of energy work to help you get to the real core of the anger. If you need to see a practitioner or therapist for some help with this, that’s great. Remember, anger is about your response to a situation or event, and therefore, you deserve to find relief and release from the root of your angry reaction.
A Return to the Emotion of Kindness, Letting It Carry You More Quickly Into a State of Ease, Comfort and Healing
If you are suffering from a chronic illness, the illness is there because of something that is out of balance emotionally and physically that perhaps you do not yet remember or have not yet been able to forgive or heal. By creating a safe space for the anger to release and the underlying emotions to be healed, you are taking yourself to state in which you can completely surrender to Divine love, the ultimate healing power. That’s what we do in counseling sessions—we go to the emotional root, so that you can experience a greater state of healing love.
As the root emotions behind the anger are finally Held and released in love, you will find your kindness naturally flowing again. Kindness carries you through the days when you might not feel like you are making enough progress. It is your love that makes it safe for memories and emotional wounds to heal. And it is your love that invites Divine assistance. Your kindness stimulates healing energy and in that gentle emotion, you are finally able to get to the final emotional release and heal.