Have you experienced this? Someone that loves you doesn’t agree with how you want to go about approaching your healing. Or maybe you are on the other side of this experience. Maybe you are the one that is really uncomfortable with your loved one’s choices.
I meet people and hear stories about people on both sides of this significant concern…children that were concerned when one of their parents chose an allopathic approach to cancer that included chemotherapy, spouses that couldn’t believe their partner only wanted to use alternative means for healing, doctors that didn’t approve of their patient’s use of energy healing methods, and individuals that wished they had done more than listen to their doctor’s advice.
This is a very sensitive area for many of us. It is extremely difficult to watch our loved ones make decisions for themselves that we are afraid could cause them to become worse off, and it is equally difficult to be clear about how you want to heal yourself, and hopefully gain the support of your loved ones, especially if you choosing a healing approach that they don’t particularly like.
If you try to argue a case about what approach or methodology is right, you are going to have a difficult time. Data and statistics help us make wise decisions. And so do the heart and intuition. The latter two are less tangible, but equally important. Some healing approaches have proven to be effective, but if your heart and intuition are telling you it’s not right for you, there is a good chance it won’t work for you. I believe the greater question to be asking ourselves, whether we are the one being healed or the one concerned is this: “What is my ethical responsibility.”
I know for some of you, what I’m about to suggest is going to be very difficult to consider, but I’m going to ask you to withhold any judgment and consider this concept with me. To clarify, I am talking about adults of free-will right now. Whether you believe that you were given this body or you chose it, at some level there was an agreement that you are the caretaker of this sacred creation. Therefore, you are the one responsible for the well-being or the release of soul in this body. No one else is responsible for your soul in your body…not your doctor, healer, spouse, children, parents or friends. You are the one that lives in this body, and unless you are unconscious, you are the one responsible for the care of your body.
If you decide to surrender your care for any given amount of time to the expertise of a doctor or into the hands of a healer, for example, that is your prerogative. The responsibility of care may be released to someone else for a little while, as surgery or energy healing is being done. It is temporarily released, not turned over completely.
This is where we have become confused about healing. We have been operating from a model for hundreds of years that allows us to have the impression that healing is about someone else. In order to heal you find the right person and method and turn yourself over completely. However, as I say in my book, The Root of All Healing, “It is the human spirit that beats the odds and continually redefines the playing field of human existence.” That means that if we really want to heal, we need to be fully involved, and responsible for our own self-healing journeys.
My husband has looked askance at me a few times when I told him I was going to use my Sound Healing to heal something, without going in for tests or seeking any other advice. Just imagine what was going through his mind when I told him that I had a dream explaining that the symptoms I was experiencing were onset symptoms for MS, and then told him I was going to heal with sound.
He was concerned and I’m glad that he cared enough to be concerned. He questioned me at length about whether or not I should be seeing a doctor or another healer and I’m glad he did, because sometimes I’m too close to my own condition and ultimately do heed his advice by getting help. Then there are other times, as with the onset symptoms of MS, where I heal the condition on my own.
I have chosen to be very clear that I am 100% responsible for my self-healing journey, and I respect in that my husband’s healing journey is his own. He loves me and I love him, but we are both clear that I am the steward of my body and he is the steward of his. (And I can assure you if he wasn’t clear about that, I would be, regardless.)
What we have learned to do is respect each other in a process of exploration. I listen to his concerns and his questions, considering whether or not he is making suggestions that feel right to me. If my intuition speaks strongly that he is bringing a solution to me, I follow his lead. If on the other hand, my intuition tells me I need to move forward by using my own gift, that’s what I do, until I am completely healed or meet someone along the way that my intuition tells me to see for additional assistance.
My husband checks in periodically on my progress from a place of genuine care, as I share with him my discoveries. He is not condescending toward me if I have chosen to heal with my own energy when he would have found a doctor. Nor do I attempt to persuade him to choose a less expensive route when he has decided on a healing approach that will cost us hundreds or thousands of dollars.
When I can see that he needs healing attention, I don’t push or insist he take steps that I think would be good for him. I make suggestions, and the rest is between him and Spirit. Even if I would make different choices, I stand by him in his, because I know how difficult it can be to make choices as conscious caretaker of one’s own body.
In the end, we don’t always get our spouse’s or our loved one’s approval about our choices. The best we can be is true to ourselves and ask for the loving support of those that love us.
I agree we are in charge of our own healing. Everybody has to do what they think is right for them.
IN my work I plant the seeds and some will grow. I they want my help they have to ask.Techniques will only work if they believe .All Things are possible if you believe.
I will support people whatever they need.
Love to you
Elizabeth,
You must be a healer, because it seems we as healers learn early on that what works best is what a person believes and is most open to. Attempting to do or offer anything else is like planting seeds in soil that can't sustain it. So, we need to discover what seeds will grow in the soil of a person's beliefs and deepest desires. That's where some of the most precious and dramatic healing happens, in the acceptance and honoring of the individual. Thanks for your lovely reminder.
I once had a booklet (and it may still be buried in one of the boxes) called "I will be responsible for me". It was also dealing with a sustainable lifestyle as well with an emphasis on a healthy diet. I agree that we are, ultimately, the one that has to take a stand on our approach to health and healing. The problem seems to be that we are not all aware of the subtle forces at work on the various levels of our being. If all is energy then the final approach has to include this aspect. Allopathic medicine only sees the physical body and nothing beyond it, and it is also supporting a multi-billion dollar industry.
George,
It certainly agree with you and the premise of your book, that we benefit as we expand our perceptions about healing being an energetic and physical endeavor, that is fully each our own responsibility. Once you really get that you are 100% responsible for yourself, isn't it amazing how your whole world changes. I found myself looking for my answers within and becoming so grateful for the external expertise I attracted into my life, all the while, evaluating what felt right for me to do or be at any given moment. It is amazingly freeing, isn't it?
Hello Misa,__How on the target you are with your words. Can be and is, a very difficult situation to cope with.To honor your own beliefs and importantly to honor the others beliefs without creating added harmful stress when face to face with these circumstances. __May seem trite, yet, been there experienced it.____May you inspire those reading what you say, listen, and act accordingly.____Hugs (if you accept them) and love.__
It is difficult. It would be so easy to attempt to make these matters, but when we are talking about people we love and people who love us, they are quite significant! Thanks for sharing that this has been your experience too. I do accept hugs! Sending return hugs!