At some point in the self-healing process, this question flashes through many of our minds. This question was offered by one of our readers, and I know I grappled with this in my own personal journey.
When I was first learning how to work with sound to heal, I had given my finger a good cut. I cleaned the cut, then sat down at a table, held my thumb over the cut and began singing to it with clear focused intention and complete openness to be healed.
After a few minutes, I lifted and my thumb and gasped in surprise. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. The cut was almost completely sealed. Just one end of the cut still needed to close completely.
I resumed my singing with great enthusiasm and was unable to seal the cut any further. I would sing, then lift my thumb and look only to be completely disappointed that I wasn’t making any further progress.
The next time I visited my medicine teacher, I told her what had happened and asked her why I wasn’t able to finish healing the cut.
“You doubted it,” she said succinctly.
“But I didn’t doubt. The cut was healing,” I countered.
“Your surprise indicated that at some level you doubted you could heal it. If you really believed that your sounds heal no matter what, you wouldn’t have been surprised. When you reacted, your doubt kept you from being able to heal any more.”
What I learned from my elder is that if you have any doubt at all, you limit or stop the healing process. So if you think at all that you might not be able to heal yourself, you won’t.
When I discovered that I had the onset symptoms of MS, some of the first images that I envisioned were wheel chairs and blindness. Immediately, I told myself those weren’t a part of my reality. The only reality that was acceptable to me was complete, and I meant complete, wellness. I was going to find a balance in my body that did not allow room for MS and that was it.
Some years later when I found out I had spirochetes living in my body I almost panicked. Those little critters are tenacious and have defense mechanisms that are amazing. Spirochete infestations are behind Lyme Disease, for example, for which there is no known cure in allopathic medicine.
I spent several mornings in silent meditation, holding my fears in compassion before I began working with my energy for healing. I knew that as long as my fear and doubt were alive, my chances of healing were low to non-existent. Eventually, the fears went away and all that remained was my love for myself and a deep knowing that I was healing.
I knew my energy was making a difference and that eventually I would find a treatment or healer that could help me finish the process. I did and the spirochetes are gone.
A great deal of self-healing is about facing the doubts as they arise, until doubt no longer exists and every cell of your being, every thought you have and every feeling inside you is fully in alignment with healing. The healing might take minutes, days or years, but you are in your process of healing. You know you are in your healing process when whether you have a good day or a bad day, the only acceptable outcome is healing.
I have also spent many hours with people getting ready to cross over to the other side. In some cases their process was arduous and exhausting, and at some point, they were willing to allow the illness to help them make their crossing. There is nothing wrong with opening to your journey to the other side. It is beautiful and wonderful, and I have watched people discover great peace in accepting that it was time for their transition.
Some people I have known had illnesses or conditions from which they never healed fully, but they found ways to accept. They learned how to live with their conditions while still enjoying and experiencing great meaning in their lives. They let their doubts rest by focusing on how to live well within their limitations. In such cases, healing was not as important as accepting their limits.
Any of these responses: to heal fully, accept the limitations or allow yourself to cross over are all appropriate responses to illness and chronic conditions. What matters most is what gives you the greatest sense of peace. If you become still and open your heart to your truth, what does your heart tell you is right for you?
When you are engaged in the struggle between doubt and desire it is difficult to be at peace, isn’t it? When you know what is right and true for you, and act from that truth with all your being, you are at peace.
If you have been asking this question in the back of your mind, “What if I can’t heal?” you might want to consider reframing the question to, “What do I want?” or “What would bring me peace?”
Consider letting your heart guide you to your answer. Then follow the wise dictates of your heart with every cell of your being.