Excerpt from “The Root of All Healing: 7 Steps to Healing Anything.”
I know when someone in one of my classes is really getting to their breakthrough to freedom, when they recognize and speak honestly about their limits. They aren’t beating themselves up for their perceived limit, they are simply recognizing where they get stuck. Once seen, the limiting belief, fear or other emotion can now be addressed in a positive manner, and healing freedom is soon to follow.
The first person who needs to hear your truth is you. Beyond that, you may find it healing to share your truth with others. However, I recommend you are thoughtful about this. I have seen an interesting interpretation of sharing one’s truth that I find disturbing and ineffective. Sharing your truth does not indicate license to beat up someone else with angry words and resentment. The feelings of anger may be true to how you are feeling, but things said in anger are often exaggerated, inflated versions of what is really the truth. Words spoken in cynicism and sarcasm come from a place of feeling less than adequate and unworthy.
I used to be one of the most cynical and sarcastic people I knew. I made everyone else wrong so that I could feel adequate, and I was angry a lot of the time, so I easily justified my angry feelings by blaming everyone around me. My anger came from my feelings of inadequacy and inability to have any control over my life. That is where the truth was hiding. My anger was about me, not the world around me. Therefore, verbally attacking someone else was not helping me heal; it was feeding my anger and desire to blame someone else for my problems.
Speaking up for yourself contributes to your healing when you are stating your need to someone else, asking someone to support you in meeting your need in more positive ways, or asking someone to support you in making healthier choices. Speaking up is about defining the situation you find yourself in and want to change.
You may find you need to muster some courage to speak your truth, if you are not used to doing so. In fact, you may find it very difficult to speak your truth without anger if you are not used to speaking up for yourself. However, you can learn to speak honestly without blame. As you do, you may be pleased to discover you have more allies in your healing journey than you realized. Invited warmly to help change an uncomfortable situation, others around you may be much more willing to join you in making new choices for a jointly healthier life style.
Being completely honest with yourself is a must. You can’t fake yourself out when it comes to healing. I have seen people make statements about their healing that they want to believe are true, but aren’t true yet, and limit their healing potential. This is tricky, because while you want to affirm the healing reality you are creating for yourself, if any part of you is saying in the back of your mind, “Yah, right!” you have a set up for self-sabotage.
The simplest way to recognize when you are doing this is when you are saying, “Everything is fine,” and everything is really not fine. Think of it this way—you just lied to yourself. Now, how can you trust yourself, when you lied to yourself? You can’t. At least not all of your conscious and subconscious mind can trust you. At least one part of you, the part that feels lousy has evidence that you just say things to try to make you feel better—but really, you feel terrible. So the overwhelming evidence that you have now reinforced is that you feel bad. Trying to convince yourself that you feel better than you do is probably not going to get you the results you want.
So what do you do? Tell yourself the truth. You already know you hurt. You are not going to suddenly convince yourself you don’t. Can you reduce the pain, turn it off or even heal so that there isn’t any pain? Those are possibilities, and they are all within a realm of potential truth for you. If you are hurting, maybe it is time to engage your creativity, utilize a healing treatment, or tap into your own healing energy. Is it time to meditate, sleep, see a doctor or healer, watch a funny movie, or focus your mind and feelings on wellness?
Your discomfort may be telling you it is time to tend to yourself. Be truthful and honest about the pain you are feeling and then do what works for you to assist your healing process and minimize or eliminate your suffering. Then when you introduce a healing methodology or an affirmation you can truly believe in, all of your conscious and subconscious thoughts will be in alignment with your healing intention.
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