You want to heal so much. You are making positive changes in your life. You have decided to be completely committed to your health, but nothing is changing. You are up against some kind of resistance, but you don’t even know how to define it. You just know it is there. What’s happening?
This is one of the most frustrating moments in healing. If you meet that resistance often enough, you might find yourself giving up healing entirely.
I’ve stood next to my own resistance on multiple occasions. I had to if I was truly serious about healing, and with each physical challenge I have faced, I was determined to create complete health.
Here are four major reasons you resist healing:
1) Some need is being met through the illness and subconsciously you are afraid that if the illness is gone the need will no longer get met. Illness can feed true needs to: be seen as special, receive much needed attention, finally get some rest, be able to slow down, experience some introspective time, receive compassion, etc. These needs must be fulfilled, even if illness is required to get the attention of you and those around you.
2) Beliefs you have adopted as your own that are actually keeping you ill. I address this my free gift, Beating the Odds: 10 Beliefs That Can Short-Circuit Your Healing. These beliefs might include such concepts as: God is punishing me, this is my karma so I just have to deal with it, healing will happen when I find the right treatment, I’m ill because of circumstances beyond my control, and more.
3) You might be experiencing fear of the unknown. This can easily happen when you have been in pain for prolonged periods of time. Your known reality is defined by pain. To suddenly be living pain free, while tempting, can also be a bit frightening. Subconsciously, you know new challenges will arise when you feel better, that you have been able to avoid while you are ill, and you might be wondering if you want to live up to the new challenges.
4) There is something about you that can be discovered through the illness. Perhaps you are an empath that has not yet recognized and learned how to live with and be of service through your gift of empathy. Perhaps you are a healer that has not yet accepted you have an energetic healing gift. Or maybe the illness has pushed you far enough to your edge that you will finally slow down and quiet down to discover the truth of who you are and your purpose here on earth.
Any of these causes with their own subtle distinctions could be contributing to on-going illness. Hopefully, this short list of causes will begin to give you some ideas about why you might be experiencing resistance. But amazingly, you can mentally understand the root cause of your resistance and still remain in resistance. Mental understanding is not enough. In order for the causes to be properly addressed, you will want to find peace at the emotional level.
There is a legitimate reason you are feeling stuck. Even if your rational mind thinks your reason makes no sense at all, there is another part of you attached to the benefits of the stuckness.
Some of my own resistance
I remember injuring my back when I was shoveling snow. I was angry with my husband for not helping me, so I jammed the shovel into the heavy snow scooping up more than I could comfortably handle, and threw-out my back. My injury got his attention and within minutes he was gently helping me get into the house, but I was blaming him for my injury. What was the benefit? I got to be right about him abandoning me to shoveling and I got attention because I was injured.
In that moment, the benefits of being right and getting attention out-weighed the pain. It was only upon quiet, compassionate reflection that I realized I had created my injury. Nestled in the awareness of self-compassion, being right and getting attention were no longer more important than enjoying wellness and a more loving interaction with my husband.
I could have gotten angry with myself for blaming my husband for my injury, and that would have only delayed the healing. Very little if anything of your injuries or illness can heal in the presence of your own anger, and I knew that. Instead, I chose compassion and in the compassion for myself, and then my husband, I freed myself emotionally and was able to heal very quickly.
What can you do when you meet your resistance?
Resistance is telling you, you are afraid to accept yourself as you are—with all of your flaws and wonders. Meet the resistance with compassion and the resistance dissolves. You don’t even need to understand the source of the resistance. However, you do need to find compassion for what you are feeling and thinking.
You need to find a way to wrap your spiritual arms around yourself with a deep, loving understanding of you. Let those judgmental thoughts slide by. Don’t give them any energy or focus. Rather, become attentive to lovingly understanding you.
My book, The Root of All Healing: 7 Steps for Healing Anything helps you discover multiple ways to develop compassion and keep your focus on understanding you.
When the resistance is met with adequate compassion, there is an opening for healing to begin working. Find your compassion and you transcend the resistance.