If you are committed to making changes in your life and you want to make them quickly, here are five steps that make it possible.
Have you ever set your intention, opened up to the potential, and received guidance about what you need to do next…
… but couldn’t seem to keep the energy going to make the necessary change?
It’s tough isn’t it? When you can’t keep the energy and motivation alive, you can end up very quickly feeling like a failure.
Something I remind my clients regularly is that as adults we often expect once we know what we need to do, the change will be instantaneous.
The reality is that we are usually adopting an entirely new belief system and set of behaviors, and in earth time, making this kind of change requires our consistent and loving attention.
Earth has a slow pace of creation for a reason. It gives us time, as creators, to carefully assess exactly what we do want. We have time to make necessary corrections before our intention comes to life.
Because the pace is slower, we have time to see how our limiting beliefs and woundedness cloud the landscape.
Impatience won’t serve us here. In truth, impatience makes it more difficult for transformation to occur, and actually slows down our processes or grinds them to a halt.
Many of us grew up in environments where punishment was used to motivate us to do the “right things”. However punishment sets up an internal reality that is harsh and overly critical. It makes us impatient and de-energizes us.
In a punishment construct, our focus becomes avoiding punishment, rather than creating a beautiful and harmonious life.
In a reinforcement-based, positive, model of making changes in life, you break your goal down into small achievable steps. With small enough steps you are going to be successful.
Creating small steps will give you successes and those successes will give you the energy you need to keep going
Shifting your consciousness to a reinforcement-based life, instead of a punishment-focused life requires steadfast focus on encouragement and compassion to replace criticism and fear.
Yes, it can be a journey, but then isn’t that why we are here?
Having once been a harsh and critical woman who was constantly trying to change the world around me in order to feel okay about my life, I much prefer a life in which I truly feel energized…
… based in compassion, understanding, and positively motivated change—starting with how I treat myself—and extending outward to how I treat others.
To my amazement, how I treated myself made a significant difference in my motivation level. Psychologist, Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD. provides some great clarity in her article about finding the motivation to change.
If you want to make a big change and you want to make it quickly, here are five steps that make it possible:
1. Create Steps. The very first step is to create steps. If you want to speed it up, you’ve got to break it down. You want an environment in which you have the optimum opportunity to succeed. To do that, see your goal and break it down into steps. Ask yourself, “What is the smallest step I could take to be fairly certain I’d be successful?” Start there and when it’s mastered, plan your next step.
2. Use Reminders. Don’t expect yourself to just get the concept and instantly make the change. You sure wouldn’t do that to a child learning something new. So coach yourself, by putting reminders all over your house.
3. Adjust Steps as Needed. If a step proves to be too big, and you are having a lot of difficulty being consistent, break it down to an even smaller step. Get it small enough that you feel successful.
4. Reinforce Your Success. Instead of criticizing what you didn’t do, change those kinds of thoughts instantly by immediately taking your step—in that moment. Then compliment yourself for turning the energy around. When you take your step, you are entitled to a big smile!
5. Stay in Your Compassion. Criticizing yourself or others when you are learning something new won’t help you, and it won’t encourage others to help you. When you miss the step completely, and can’t get it turned around immediately, it’s a good time to send a little love to yourself. After all you are learning. Then, put a reminder somewhere to encourage you even more to engage your step, or break it down further into smaller steps.
In my best-selling book, The Root of All Healing, I share the common phases most of us go through naturally in making behavioral changes. Those phases and these steps will give you a good foundation for making changes with greater ease.
Here’s to small, successful steps and lots of positive encouragement so that you truly do have the energy to sustain the changes you are making.