Why in Healing You Shouldn’t Be Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Maybe you’ve said it yourself, “Everything was going along great, but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Now for those of you that don’t know this little idiom, it means expecting something bad is about to happen.
Although I used to use this phrase myself, I had no idea where it came from. I found a great story about it’s possible origin at World Wide Words.
Some of us learned that bad things follow good in childhood. Maybe there were times when everything was going along fine, and then one of your family members would have an unreasonable outburst that affected you, and perhaps your entire family. That outburst might have set you on your edge, made you feel badly about yourself, or even harmed you physically. Trauma has a way of causing you to feel insecure or defensive, and marring your hopes and dreams for happiness.
Eventually, you learned that good things don’t last, and now as an adult you bring that wound in consciousness into your healing. With every moment that you are feeling emotionally or physically good, a part of your mind is thinking, “Well this won’t last.”
Because a part of you is anticipating that something bad will happen, something bad does happen. Now you have proof that nothing you do works, and good moments don’t last. In effect, you’re stuck.
In order to get unstuck, you have to retrain your expectations, so that you don’t create the very thing you are afraid will happen.
Here are two ideas for keeping yourself from waiting for the other shoe to drop
- Teach yourself that good things create more good things by rewarding yourself. When you’ve done something healthy and good yourself, immediately reward yourself with something that is pleasing (and still) healthy for you. For example, let’s say you are not a fan of exercising, but you’ve decided you are going to take a walk every morning. After you get home from your walk, you might make a hot cup of your favorite tea. As you drink it remind yourself that good things create more good things.
- Look for evidence that good things can happen after something good has happened. Notice the little things that really matter in life, like going to the grocery store and someone let’s you go ahead of them, and then the clerk genuinely asks if you are enjoying the sunshine. Let evidence stack up in a new direction, where good follows good.
- Coach yourself to have a new healing response to the thought, “waiting for the other shoe to drop.” The moment you think it, create a new visualization or thought. In this case you might have a visualization of a shoe dropping from the sky along with the thought, “There the shoe has fallen. It’s done now.” Or you might affirm, “There are no shoes falling.” It’s especially good if you can make yourself laugh. If you need to, take your shoe off and drop it on the floor. Make it happens in a fun way, so that the whole idea of it completely changes.
In inner child healing, it’s helpful to realize:
- Having a bad day or moment does not necessarily mean all your healing work has failed. It might mean there’s more barometric pressure, and it’s bothering you. Maybe your treatment needs to adjust a little. Perhaps you need a different kind of help than you’ve been getting. Perhaps you need stronger, clearer healing energy. Or you are getting closer to healing, but you are experiencing the ups and downs that occur as your body and emotions adjust.
- When you have been feeling particularly good, you want to maintain that feeling, and that’s great. As you are learning how to maintain that feeling however, you are likely to have some peaks and bumps along the way. That’s what learning is about. If children stopped trying to walk after they fell down a couple of times, they’d never learn to walk. Learning to feel good most of the time is probably going to take some practice.
- It’s helpful not to expect or look for problems, but it’s also helpful not to be surprised and frustrated when they come up. Keep focused on your health with lots and lots of compassion for the bumps and problems along the way. They are just bumps, not signs of more bad things to come.
- Watch your expectations of others. You are on a healing path, but that doesn’t mean other people in your life understand what that means for you. And keep in mind, they are going to respond and react to the changes you make—some positively; some negatively. But their responses are just that—their responses. It doesn’t mean you should stop doing what is good for you and cultivating a world where more good things happen.
- Nurture positive feelings about your healing and notice every little improvement with great respect, delight and love. The more your nurture positive feelings, the more you will be guided to the positive changes, healing techniques, and people that will help you most. Plus you’ll just feel better about yourself and life, and isn’t that the point of healing.
You might have been waiting for the other shoe to drop as a kid, but you don’t have to any more—and shouldn’t if you want to heal
Remind yourself that there might have been a lot of scary, rude, mean or even brutal moments as a child, but you are choosing a different life now. Yes, life has it’s ups and downs, and for every good act, there can be good ones that follow. Your choices are still effectual. Your good work is making a difference.
You get to reframe your life the way you want it to be. This equation is not the only equation in life—”If good things happen, then bad things follow.” There is another equation that you can make your own. ” When good things happen, more good things follow.”
Reframing your childhood is part of the sacred work of inner child healing. As you heal your inner child, you create a new childhood where trauma doesn’t exist, and your child receives all the nurturing they need. That’s what my Healing the Inner Child audio program was created to help you do. Offered to my elder, Gigi by Saint Germaine, it was passed on to me to share with you.
I invite you to take a look at the program to see how it can help you bring healing and reframing to your inner child, so that beliefs from childhood that no longer serve you can easily be released.
With some inner-world coaching, you can create a reality based upon a whole new belief—”When good things happen, more good things follow.” Then let the world show you just how good it can get, as you let go of waiting for the other shoe to drop.